


iGoBackInTime

by phantomphan2000



Category: iCarly
Genre: Angst, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-12
Updated: 2010-07-15
Packaged: 2013-12-18 14:08:07
Rating: T
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,814
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5891920/1/
Author URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/2051587/phantomphan2000
Summary: When Freddie gets killed in a hit-and-run, everything changes. iCarly is canceled, everyone feels guilty, and life just gets harder. Sam wants nothing more than a second chance, but she'd better be careful because she just might get it.





	1. The Beginning of the End

**A/N: Here's my first iCarly fic! Hope everyone enjoys it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly.**

**Summary: When Freddie gets killed in a hit-and-run, it changes everything. iCarly is canceled, everyone who knew him feels guilty, and life gets harder. Sam wants nothing more than a second chance, to go back and change that moment in time. But she'd better be careful because she just might get what she wishes for.**

**Prologue **

I'd never imagined anyone could feel like this. The pain was slowly eating away at my soul, and depression had sent a threatening storm cloud over my head. His absence was already more than I could take: I was just a lifeless being, losing another piece of myself every second my heart continued to beat. I felt as if I had nothing left, nothing but the haunting memory of his existence. . . .

I never knew up until that point I would get a second chance.

I took the opportunity before considering what could go wrong. I hadn't taken the time to wonder if my actions could lead me down the same deadly path. There just wasn't _time_ to think. I had to act, I had to save him.

I just couldn't sit there and do nothing. Not when the one person I hadn't known I'd loved asked me to bring him back to the world of the living.

**Chapter 1: The Beginning of the End**

"I'm Carly!"

"And I'm Sam!"

"And this is -"

"iCarly!"

A deep voice in the background announced it was time for "Random dancing!" Freddie smiled as he watched Carly and I begin to dance and twirl around wildly from behind the camera, flashing lights covering the room while music pounded overhead.

After an extended episode of iCarly, which lasted for about an hour and contained loads of new things to make our audience laugh, Freddie then gave us the signal that it was time to end the show. I think it would have been safe to say that both Carly and I were a little disappointed, hoping the show could continue on for just a while longer.

"Okay, people," I said, looking straight into the camera. "That's all for this webisode of iCarly, but don't worry." Stepping closer, I whispered in my best goofy, mysterious voice, "We'll be back."

"And . . . we're clear," Freddie said, setting down the camera by his laptop, laughing. "That was a pretty awesome show."

"Yeah," Carly said. "I think that was our best one yet. How big was our audience?"

"A little bigger than last time," Freddie answered. "I guess we're doing something right."

"Who's up for a smoothie?" I asked suddenly. All the jumping around had made me thirsty. "Momma's in the mood for one."

"Surprise, surprise," Freddie said, rolling his eyes. "But I'm in. Let's go."

"Okay," Carly agreed.

I let Freddie's comment slide for once. I'd get him later.

We headed downstairs into Carly's living room, where we found Spencer laying on the couch watching Girly Cow. He was laughing hysterically.

I knew before Carly asked him that he wouldn't answer.

"Uh, Spencer? Can I go to the Groovy Smoothie with Sam and Freddie?"

He continued laughing, not even acknowledging our presence. "Come on," I said, heading for the door. "Let's just go. You can text him on the way there."

As we headed down the stairs that lead to the main lobby, Freddie kept telling Carly about how great the show had turned out. He wondered if he should install some new program onto his computer to make our audio a bit clearer. As if I could care about his tech talk. I was focused on getting to the Groovy Smoothie.

It didn't take us long to walk a couple of blocks from the apartment building. Just as we were nearing the last street we had to cross, Carly remembered she had to text Spencer. She pulled out her phone and began typing up a short message telling him where she was. Freddie was a bit ahead of us.

I didn't realize that after he stepped out onto the street I would never speak to him again. If I had known what was going to happen, I would have made sure I pushed him out of the way.

But it wasn't like I could grow wings.

Before Carly, Freddie, or I could do anything, a hot rod shot around the corner and came hurtling down the street. Once I had seen it, I didn't know it was going to head straight for Freddie. It was swerving a bit on the other side of the road. I wasn't even thinking of what could happen. . . .

My heart skipped a beat when I saw Freddie glance up and see the hot rod maniac had changed direction, and was speeding up, heading right for him. I tried to yell, to warn him, to tell him to get out of the way, but my voice refused to work. My mouth opened. No words came out. I ran, but even then I knew it was useless to do so.

I remember looking away, not wanting to see the car collide with him. I heard the tires screech, and then the engine quickly rev up. When I looked back up, the car was long gone, already speeding down the road. I completely broke down when I saw his motionless body just lying there in the middle of the street. I ran to his side, unaware that Carly was staring wide-eyed, shocked behind me.

I don't remember much after that. They told me later that I kept mumbling his name over and over. I didn't notice the crowd that surrounded us, or the people pulling out their cell phones to call 911. I remember one thing before I fell into the cold, black darkness.

A man pushed his way through the crowd, telling everyone to step back. When he reached Freddie and me, I was told to move aside. I didn't. The man checked for a pulse. My heartbeat quickened in my chest. I suddenly couldn't breathe, couldn't think.

"He's dead."

I didn't hear the man say that. I thought that was my conscious telling me Freddie was already gone.

"Sam, come on." This was a familiar voice. It was Carly. "I called Spencer. He's on his way." She tried to pull me up. I wouldn't let her.

"Miss," it was the man again. This time he was staring at me with great sadness and pity. "Miss, I'm sorry. He's passed on, he's . . . dead."

I heard him that time. The scene before me became a blur before the blackness claimed me. The last thing I saw was Carly's face, staring down at me in disbelief.

**Oh, I almost forgot! I'd like to dedicate this story to iCarlyfan312. She helped me come up with the idea for this story. I owe her. Check out her profile. She has a multi-chapter story called The Evil Twin. **

**And yes, this will be a multi-chapter story. I'm excited! :) I already know how this is all going to play out. I plan to update once or twice a week. Please R & R!! **


	2. I Wish You Were Here

**A/N: A special thanks to everyone who reviewed for the last chapter! I know it was kind of short, so I tried to make this one a bit longer. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly. Never have, never will. Pretty simple.**

**Chapter 2: I Wish You Were Here**

_And I'll forget the world that I knew  
But I swear I won't forget you  
Oh, if my voice could reach  
Back through the past  
I'd whisper in your ear  
Oh darling, I wish you were here_

(Vanilla Twilight, Owl City)

I was suddenly aware that I couldn't see anything. I could only feel the darkness pressing in on me, making me become increasingly anxious. I couldn't move, my limbs were frozen solid in place. My breaths came in frightened gasps as I fought with my senses to remain calm.

A bright light caught my immediate attention. It was the only thing that allowed me to see, and something compelled me to begin walking towards it. As I got closer, I realized that the dim source was a single solitary candle.

The small flame began dancing wildly, flickered, and then went out. My heart pounded hard, so hard I thought it would fly out of my chest.

Where was I?

The darkness took away my ability to move yet again. I could only stand, terrified, as I waited for something to happen.

I half expected something to pop out at me and yell, "Boo!" But even I couldn't fully believe that. Not in complete unknown darkness.

The flame reappeared only a moment later. It was moving swiftly from side to side, almost faster than I could follow with my eyes, though it never distinguished. It came to a halt directly in front of my face, and that's when I knew I was no longer alone.

From the little light the candle provided, I could see a dark outline of a figure on the other side of the yellow-orange glow. I couldn't make out any distinct features, which only heightened my fear.

In the next second, I could clearly see the face. And I couldn't believe who I saw before me.

"Freddie?" I whispered in disbelief.

He just nodded.

The memory of what had happened to him suddenly hit me, and I couldn't help saying, "Freddie, I'm sorry - This is my fault. I could have saved you had I known."

"You still can," he said in a deep, dark voice that didn't belong to him.

And he blew out the candle before I could say anything more.

My eyes snapped open to be temporarily blinded by bright sunlight streaming through a window.

"Sam?"

The voice spoke in a soft, careful tone, as if fearing I wouldn't recognize my own name. Though, I have to admit that I was disoriented after the dream, and my head felt extremely heavy.

I slowly turned so I could see who the voice belonged to. Carly was sitting next to me in a chair. I managed to say "Hey" before I realized I was in a hospital bed. I immediately sat up. "What -"

"It's okay, don't freak out," she said, standing and holding out her hands to calm me down. "You're in the hospital."

I slowly leaned back down onto the rather stiff bed, afraid I would become dizzy from getting up so fast. "Yeah, I think I know that, thanks." I put a hand to my forehead and closed my eyes. I tried to concentrate on what she told me next.

"When you fainted, you hit your head pretty hard. When the ambulance arrived, you were out cold. I told them you were fine, but they didn't listen. I knew how much you hated hospitals." She glanced over at the clock. "You slept through the night, though, so I guess that's a good sign."

I purposefully didn't reply. I studied her face as she stared down at me, and realized her eyes were puffy and red from irritation, as if she'd been crying recently.

It all came rushing back to me in a blur for a second time. The swerving, the blinding lights, his expression before he was hit . . . and then the dream. My jaw clenched. It was suddenly too much for me to take.

"Is he really -?"

She nodded before I could finish asking the question, obviously trying to avoid hearing the word I myself didn't want to hear.

"You don't have to be so tough, you know," I said after a few moments of silence. "Just take a good look at me. I'm a bit dizzy and out of it right now, but I'm alright. I'm here, and I'm your best friend. You don't have to hide anything."

The words flowed so naturally out of my mouth, and it surprised me how much different I sounded.

"If I don't hide it from you, then I have to hide it from Spencer," Carly said. "I can't even imagine breaking down in front of him. He'll send me to Yakama to live with my granddad if he thinks I'm too upset . . . and then I won't be able to come back to Seattle for a really long time; you'll be all alone."

There was a dull ache in my chest already, most likely sparked from the unforgettable dream I'd had, so I didn't feel the pain of her words. "Hey, you know me. Just leave me some buckets of fried chicken, and I'll be fine." I removed my hand from my face and opened my eyes. I was happy to find that my vision was clear, though my head still hurt.

"You weren't fine yesterday," she whispered seriously, ignoring my joking tone. "What if I hadn't been there, Sam? What do you think would have happened?" She looked down at the floor, trying to hold back fresh tears. "Maybe if I hadn't been so focused on texting Spencer, he would still be here."

I frowned and looked over at her. "No, Carly, please don't beat yourself up, okay? For me . . . And if not for me, then for Spencer. He would hate to see you like this."

"I know," she replied in a shaky voice. She stared at me for a second longer, a sad, curious look coming over her face. "Sam -"

She was interrupted by the door opening. Spencer slowly walked in, his hands shoved into his jean pockets.

Carly quickly wiped a finger under her eyes and sniffled once.

Spencer looked far worse to me than Carly did. His hair was all over the place, and looked like he had run his hands through it many times. His expression was a haunted one, and even as he spoke to me, I could tell he was partially off in another world.

"So . . . you're awake." His tone was lifeless, cold. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," I lied easily.

And even though my tone was convincing, I knew he didn't believe me. My appearance was probably what gave it away.

"Where have you been?" Carly asked.

"Out in the lobby . . . with Mrs. Benson."

Carly looked at me when Spencer glanced at a picture of a small pond on the wall opposite my hospital bed. I looked back . . . and froze.

She was trying to mouth something to me.

After several tries, I made out what she was trying to tell me:

"He doesn't look good. . . . We've got to get out of here. Say something!"

I instantly understood. "Spencer, I'm feeling a lot better. Could you send in a doctor or something so that we can go home?"

He turned back and looked me square in the eye. His eyes bore into mine, probing, searching for something. Luckily, I was good at faking.

He seemed to be a bit more convinced. "Only if you're sure, Sam. There's no rush."

"I'm fine, honestly. There's nothing to worry about." Another smooth lie, even if only partially true.

Spencer's mouth became a straight line. "I'll be back soon with a doctor, then."

And he left.

I stared after him, knowing I'd only seen shadow of what was to come.

* * *

I was released later that same day.

I rode with Carly and Spencer in Mrs. Benson's car. She insisted we take it. When Spencer asked her how she would get home, she only replied with, "I'll get there one way or another." Her comment rang in my ears the whole silent car ride to the apartment. And it was the most awkward silence I'd ever experienced.

I knew we could have taken the bus, which might have been the best option. I felt cramped in the car. It seemed too small.

I could no longer ignore the pain. I had done my best to hide it, but now that I was in Carly's apartment, I didn't know how to deal with it. Carly flung down on the couch once the door was open, burying her face in her arm. Spencer carelessly flung the keys towards the counter, and immediately headed for his room. I heard them hit the wood floor.

I knew this must be their way of dealing with the pain.

And now it was my turn.

I headed for the stairs that would lead me to the iCarly studio.

I was surprised when I opened the door. The scene before me was perfectly preserved, making it all the more difficult. His computer cart with his computer and video camera and other tech stuff was there. I opened the laptop to see the iCarly webpage. Even the monitor still had the iCarly logo flashing.

I let the tears come freely now. There was no way I could hold them in any longer.

I raced back down the stairs, knowing I could no longer delay it. Carly was still in the same position, and didn't notice me slip out of the apartment. Spencer was nowhere in sight.

It was easy to pick the lock, and I was inside in record time. I made my way to the balcony, to the rail, and looked out over the beautiful view of Seattle. Knowing I would be considered insane, I began to talk into the silent night.

"Why did it have to be you? Why couldn't it have been me?" I whispered. "I didn't know someone could feel like this, not until now, not until you're gone." I glanced up at the dark, cloudy sky, as if the answers to my questions would be there. But, of course, they weren't. I felt a small droplet of water hit my cheek, but I made no move to head inside.

"I wish you were here."

I sobbed as the rain grew heavier, and thunder rolled somewhere in the distance. As long as the sky was crying, I felt I could too.

"I still am," an achingly familiar voice whispered in my ear.

Startled, I looked up. There was no one there. _Do I have to be haunted by his voice now, too?_ I wondered hopelessly.

"Over here."

It was even more shocking to hear it a second time.

The fear and anxiousness I had felt in the dream suddenly came back alarmingly fast. I turned, very slowly, only to have my heart completely stop.

The figure from my dream had decided to make an appearance. I blinked. He was still there.

He smiled and then laughed lightly at my shock. "Hello, Sam."

**I know, cliff-hangers. You gotta love 'em . . . and hate 'em. :)**

**Please R&R! **


	3. Hallucinations

**A/N: Thanks again to everyone who reviewed!**

**And I know I need to update A Visit From the Past, but the next chapter is proving to be difficult to write. I will do my best to update both stories as soon as I can!**

**Disclaimer: This part gets depressing. No, I don't own iCarly. Phew. I'm glad that's over.**

_And the tears come streaming_

_Down your face_

_When you lose something _

_You can't replace_

_When you love someone_

_But it goes to waste_

_Could it be worse?_

(Coldplay, Fix You)

**Chapter 3: Hallucinations**

I simply couldn't wrap my head around it.

I tried several times to prove that I was dreaming or that I was imagining him standing there. But then what about his voice? Was my consciousness providing that for me too?

I thought I had tried everything I could think of . . . and failed to prove that Freddie Benson was not standing on the balcony with me.

"How . . . You . . . _What_?"

He just stood there, leaning casually against the brick wall, arms folded across his chest, the smile still plastered on his face. He laughed at my confusion.

How could this be happening?

"Sorry," he mumbled. "There wasn't any other way I could talk to you."

I couldn't understand what he was trying to tell me. Shouldn't he be explaining to me why he was still _alive_?

He laughed lightly again. "So little time to explain, and yet there's so much I could tell you." He began walking towards me, his eyes focused on something over my shoulder. Then he blinked, and his gaze shifted to my face. "First, I guess I should tell you why I'm here."

I could only manage a small nod.

"I need your help, Sam," he said, his voice suddenly serious. "I know we were never best buds before I . . . died, but you're the only chance I've got."

I began shaking my head before he was finished. "Wait, wait, wait. . . . Are you telling me that you're still _dead_?"

He stared at me as if I'd lost my mind, which I was absolutely sure I had. "Yeah," he replied, his tone almost casual. "I know I'm dead, but I won't be for long, not if you help me."

I looked him over again and realized he did not look as solid as before when he'd been standing in front of the brick wall. Huh, I was sure I had been hallucinating.

"So what are you, a ghost?"

"You could say that." That dumb smile was really starting to get on my nerves.

"Okay, then tell me this." I thought for a second on how to phrase my question. "How can I bring you back to life if you're already dead?" I was shocked by how calm and serene my voice sounded. I knew I should sound furious.

But I wasn't quite yet convinced he was really there.

"There's only one way you can," he said. "And I'm not sure you'd be willing to save me."

The sudden silence drove me crazy. "Okay, fine. Hit me with it."

He sighed heavily before looking me directly in the eye and saying: "You'd have to go back in time."

I was careful not to let myself think. "And what would I have to do? I mean, how would that all happen?"

"I have the power to send you back in time, but I can only do it once." Freddie pointed to the sky. "He gave me permission to use the power, and since I've never done it before, I'm not sure at what time you'll end up. If I can just send you back to a few hours before I got hit, you can push me out of the way." He stared at me, waiting for a reaction. My expression was blank.

I had so many questions, but I knew had better start with the most important. "And why can't you go ask Carly to do this? Why does it have to be me?"

A frown suddenly appeared on his ghostly face. "I've talked it out with Him, and He said hasn't done anything like this in a long time. He only tries to give second chances to the people who would've made a difference." Freddie looked out over the ledge and slowly smiled. "I guess I'm special."

I stared at him, waiting rather impatiently for an answer to my question.

"Honestly, Sam, I don't know why it has to be you," Freddie said. "It was what I was told."

My head was whirling with more questions. "Let's just say I decide to go along with this. What _exactly_ would I have to do?"

"Here, hold out your right hand."

Curiosity got the better of me. I did as he said.

There was a small _crack_. Then I looked down at my hand a saw a small, gray ring on my index finger.

"What's this?"

"It's what will send you back in time," he explained. "I'll have to help you, of course, but you'll have to be thinking back to a moment before we were headed to the Groovy Smoothie. It'll take a lot of concentration from both you and me. We have to be on the same page, or you'll get lost, and I don't think you'd be able to find your way back." He paused. "Will you help me, Sam?"

I thought for a long moment, which seemed like forever. "What can I say? I have no choice."

He smiled, but it didn't bug me this time. "You'll have to go soon, otherwise, it won't work. How about tomorrow afternoon?"

"T-Tomorrow?" I practically choked on the word. "That soon?"

"It's then or it's never," he said. "I can't force you to help me, Sam, but I'm begging you. Being dead isn't all it's cracked up to be."

I knew he was trying to lighten my mood. And I knew he wasn't succeeding very well.

"Okay," I finally said. "On two conditions."

He waited.

"You buy me whatever I want for a month once you're back, okay?"

He nodded. "Sure."

"And second, you answer any questions I have about this, no matter what."

"Done," he agreed. He held out his transparent hand, as if to shake on our deal.

"I'd rather not, if you don't mind," I said. "But I promise I'll help you."

Freddie shrugged and let his hand fall to his side. "I'll see you tomorrow, bright and early."

"Wait, one question."

"Yeah?" he asked, clearly hesitant.

"I don't _think_ I'm insane, but just to make sure, am I the only one you can talk to?" I knew it only made me sound more like a psycho.

To my surprise, he laughed and said, "Yup. I'm not sure what I did to deserve that, but . . ."

"Hey, watch it, Benson. I'll stay right here if you're going to insult me," I warned.

He flashed me a smile. "Bye, Sam."

And then he was gone.

I raced back out of the apartment, through the hall, and back into Carly's apartment.

"Carly, I need to talk to you, now," I said.

She was still on the couch, as she had been when I'd left. She sat up, slightly confused by the urgency in my tone.

"Why?" she asked in a dead voice. "What is it?"

I looked around the room. "Where's Spencer?"

She narrowed her eyes at me. "In his room," she answered slowly. "Sam, what's going on?"

"Just follow me."

I headed up the stairs, and knew Carly was following closely behind; I could hear her footsteps.

This was the most life I'd seen of her in the past two days.

I closed the door behind us once we were inside the iCarly studio.

"Sam?"

Great, now she was going to think I was insane too.

"Carly -"

I stopped short as a sudden movement behind my best friend caught my attention. My eyes widened with shock.

**Okay, I know it's not the best of cliff-hangers, but it felt like I should stop there.**

**I'll do my best to update as soon as I can. I'd be willing to update faster if you reviewed! :) Constructive criticism is welcomed.**


	4. Soul Mates

**A/N: As always, thank you so, **_**so**_** much for all the wonderful reviews! I'm sorry it's taken so long to update, and hope everyone enjoys this chapter. I had a fun time writing it. And please review! I love knowing what you guys think. :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything besides the plot.**

**Chapter 4: Soul Mates **

"You can't tell her!"

The voice belonged to the figure. I glanced quickly at Carly, fearing she had heard. But her expression remained unchanged.

I glanced over her shoulder and saw Freddie's ghostly self standing there, waving his arms around wildly above Carly's head. My expression became a confused one.

"If you tell her anything at all, I won't be able to send you back in time!" he fretted. "You can't tell _anyone_!"

I shot him a look that made him go silent. If I said anything to him now, Carly would turn around. . . . He hadn't really explained everything, so I didn't know if she could see him or not. But it made sense to try and prevent it from happening. But it obviously didn't to Freddie, not if he kept randomly popping up places without letting me know about it!

I sighed quietly and frowned. I'd deal with him later.

"Sam, what are you making faces at me for?" Carly asked then.

"Oh, sorry, I was just thinking," I said, just a bit too fast. I could tell she was already wondering what the heck I was doing. "Look, I've been meaning to ask - Can I stay here with you and Spencer for a while?" It was the best I could think of, and it was definitely something I needed to do. By staying in Carly's apartment, I could be close to Freddie's. I was sure I could talk to him there without people thinking I had a bolt or two loose. And Mrs. Benson was staying with relatives, so that was one less person I had to worry about showing up.

"Oh." She seemed surprised by my question. "Yeah, sure. Spencer wouldn't care." She paused for a second to think. "Was that all you wanted to talk about?"

I tried to think of something else, to make her be that much less suspicious of my obviously strange behavior, but I couldn't. There were too many things on my mind at the moment. Surely something would slip if I opened my mouth. "No, that's it. I just didn't want to weird Spencer out or anything like that, you know. Sorry if I scared you."

Carly got up, and I took a sharp intake of breath, scared stiff she would turn and see him. It didn't go unnoticed.

"You sure you're okay, Sam?" Carly asked.

I nodded, trying to be convincing. I don't think I was.

Carly walked out of the room, leaving me alone with Freddie. I looked back to where he had been only seconds before, only to find he was no longer there.

* * *

It took me a while to calm down.

How long would it have taken Freddie to explain to me the most important thing about this little trip I was going to make? I mean, usually, people start out by saying the most vital things first. Am I right? The dork could have mentioned that I wasn't supposed to tell anyone, let alone my best friend! It would have been a lot easier for me if I had been allowed to let someone else in on our plan. After all, _I_ was the one who was going to attempt to save _his_ life. That should have counted as something.

"Hey, Sam."

I jumped about a foot to the right, taken completely by surprise. "Jeez, Freddie, could you be any more annoying?" My voice was filled with anger, though I was rather relieved that he hadn't permanently disappeared. "I mean, at least give me a sign next time!"

He smiled . . . again. "Yeah, sure, whatever you want."

It was quiet for a few minutes. His death already seemed more saddening, even with his ghost standing in front of me in his own apartment. It was an almost constant reminder of how hard it had been.

I took a seat on his couch. It was time for him to tell me everything.

"All right, Benson, let's get this over with. I know I'm supposed to go back to . . . before, but _how_ I am going to do that?"

"With my help," he answered, as if I should have known the answer to that question myself.

"I know that! But what do I have to do to get back to the right place in time?" I rephrased impatiently.

He avoided my gaze by looking at the floor. "You just have to wear this."

He didn't move.

Before I had the chance to ask where or what it was, a silver watch was suddenly fastened around my right wrist. I gasped.

"What _is_ this?" I asked in awe, studying the fascinating details.

"It's one of the many keys to getting my life back," Freddie answered in a serious voice. "And it's the most dangerous."

The watch itself seemed normal at first glance. But when I took a closer look, I could see rows of tiny hour glasses carved in a never-ending pattern around the silver band. I tried to comprehend what all of the blue and red numbers meant, and why there were several different black hour and second hands. The ring that was also on the middle finger of my right hand seemed to weigh ten pounds, just like the watch did. They matched in both color and detail.

"How does it work?"

A small crease appeared on his forehead between his eyebrows, and his eyes narrowed slightly as he glanced at the watch, and then the ring. "From what He told me, the way I understand it is that you and I have to be thinking of a moment before the accident. If we both can focus on just that memory, just that one point in time, I can send you back safely." He took a deep breath. "But there's a problem."

Isn't there always? I wondered silently.

"The ring is like a free redo. If something goes wrong, you can use it to back to the point you want and start all over. But you can only use it once, just like with the watch, which acts as a time bomb," he continued. "Even if I somehow send you back to the right time, there's a chance you might not be able to save me." His voice sounded like mine and everyone else's had after we'd learned of his death: Cold and lifeless. "It gives you just two days to change what happened."

I tried not to think about that as it set in. "Well, that puts a lot of things into perspective," I finally said.

Freddie must have seen me frown. He was at my side abruptly, kneeling down on one leg. He held out a hand to me, a hand that no longer held any warmth. "Sam, I know how much you hate me, and I know you really don't want to do this, but the fact is . . . I need you." The ghostly hand moved a little closer, insisting I take it.

Could this all really be happening to me? Was Freddie really dead? Was his ghost really holding his hand out to me now as a friendly gesture? Would I really be able to go back and save him, do something no one else ever had the chance to do before? Was I strong enough to risk my own life to save someone I had once thought I could live without?

I knew at once the single answer to every question: Yes. It had to be.

I lifted my hand, no longer afraid as I had been before when he'd offered his hand to me. The fingers of his hand curled around my own, not exactly touching me, but rather just holding me there. The air around me suddenly felt very cold, like ice. I suppressed a shiver as goose bumps appeared up and down my arm.

"Thank you," he said. "This went better than I thought it would."

I frowned. "I haven't even gone back in time yet."

He released his hold on me and stood. "But I know you're capable of making things right, the way they should be." He shrugged slightly. "I trust you, Sam."

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry at that. I just nodded.

Freddie turned his back on me, heading for the balcony. He hadn't taken two steps before he half-turned back towards me. "Oh, and I know now why it has to be you who saves me." He paused.

And I waited.

A corner of his mouth lifted into a half-smile. "Death is a funny way of showing someone things they hadn't realized when they were still living, but I guess I wasn't supposed to die this way." He drew in a long breath and let it out slowly. His gaze met mine, and I was unable to look away. "You're my soul mate, Sam."

Was the room spinning? I couldn't tell at first, but I saw Freddie step out into the night, and disappear with a gust of wind.

I slumped over on the couch, and my head found a soft pillow. Everything before my eyes suddenly seemed blurry. I shut them quickly, fighting the swirling in my head.

Going back in time was going to be even more difficult than I had originally thought.


	5. Uncertainties

**A/N: So here's the next chapter! :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize.**

**Chapter 5: Uncertainties **

By the time morning came, I was what some would call a train wreck.

When I opened my eyes, I found that I was lying on the couch in Carly's apartment. The memory of the night before came rushing back in a blur. Hadn't I fallen asleep in Freddie's apartment after he'd left? How had Carly known where to find me?

I glanced down at the silver watch on my wrist. After I looked past all the different colored numbers and symbols, I could make out a time in the dim moonlight shining in through the windows. The hands told me it was three o'clock. I figured, since it was still dark and all of the lights were off, it must be three in the morning. I knew I should try to get some sleep, but how could I now, knowing what I had to do in a few hours? So many things could go wrong. . . .

My thoughts were abruptly interrupted.

"Sam? You awake?"

I jumped slightly, surprised to hear Spencer's voice. Even if I had been expecting someone, it wouldn't have been Carly's brother. "Yeah, I'm up." Ugh. I sounded terrible, like I hadn't slept at all.

He came into view a second later and sat on the chair closest to me. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

I sat up a little, curious by his careful and slightly guarded expression. It made it hard to read anything in his features. I shrugged, trying to seem indifferent. "Sure."

Spencer was quiet for a while, most likely thinking about how to phrase something. "I found you asleep across the hall." He pointed over his shoulder.

I immediately understood why he had taken the time to say this: He didn't want to say Freddie's name. "Wait, that was you?" Spencer nodded. "Oh," I said, sounding kind of stupid.

"Sam, this is really hard for all of us, but I know that it's probably hardest of all for you," Spencer continued. "After Carly called me and told me what happened, I came down right away. But when I got there -"

"Spencer, please." I really didn't want to talk about Freddie dying. It was already bad enough by just _acknowledging_ his absence.

He held up his hands. "Hold on, let me finish," he insisted. "By the time I got there, you had already fainted. Carly told me he had gotten hit and that you kept saying his name before you were unconscious."

"What does this have to do with anything?" I asked to fill the short silence that followed his words. "I already know all that."

"It has to do with you, Sam, don't you get it?" Spencer asked. "I think even before he died, I knew it. Maybe Carly did, too. I don't know. But it's not really a question anymore."

What was he trying to get at?

"You loved him."

I wanted to laugh at him, I really did, but his expression was so serious that the laugh got caught in my throat. I could only stare and wait for him to say my silence was proof to his theory.

"Look," Spencer said after a few uncomfortable moments, "the last thing I want to do is make you feel worse about what happened. I understand how much you must be going through. And I'm sorry, really."

Everything he was saying just made me feel ten times worse than I ever had before. I guessed that was how it was supposed to be after someone who was close to you died.

"Good-night, Sam," he said, getting up slowly from the chair. "See you in the morning."

I was afraid to answer him, so I didn't.

Spencer left the room, leaving a strong sense of seriousness behind him. It hung in the air, and I could feel that it was contagious.

Now I had to face the questions that had yet to receive answers, which I would have to provide in the end. The status of the current situation wasn't going to make that any easier.

* * *

I didn't know when I finally left the apartment. It was probably only a half an hour after Spencer's unexpected visit.

I was there before I knew where I was headed.

Freddie's apartment looked the same as it always had, I don't know why I expected it to look any different. It must have been nerves.

"Freddie?"

I had to tell him now, or I might never get the chance to.

He appeared in front of me a second later. "I'm here."

"Freddie, there's something I want to tell you -"

He held up a hand. "I know. But now isn't the time for that. We've got to send you back."

I was stunned and taken completely by surprise. "_Now_?"

He nodded. "It's now or never, Sam. Time's running out."

The fear was starting to make itself known. "H-How do you know I can save you?"

Freddie sighed. "I don't," he admitted. "But like I said, I trust you."

My voice wasn't working right, so I couldn't say, "Maybe you shouldn't."

"Are you ready?"

I took a deep breath, trying to slow the accelerated beats of my heart, and nodded, unable to say the words.

"Promise me you'll do everything I tell you to."

I swallowed painfully. "I . . . I promise."

"Grab my hands and focus on the memory of that day, just before I was hit. Think only of the very ending of the iCarly show, when you where telling the viewers you'd be back."

I did as he said, scared out of my mind. There was nothing I could do now but hope that whatever was about to happen would work.

Freddie began muttering silently under his breath. I didn't dare to wonder what he was doing. He closed his eyes in concentration.

When he had finished, he opened his eyes. I looked back at him, and I was sure the look on my face was now mirrored on his.

Blue light flooded the room. I looked down to find that my watch was the source, though I was nearly blinded, and looked away quickly. A very loud sound was also starting to fill the room, a sort of an annoying humming. The volume was increasing rapidly.

"Do you trust me?" Freddie shouted over the noise.

"Yes!"

"Close your eyes and keep them that way!"

I squeezed them shut as tight as I could.

The noise was becoming even louder still, and I was sure the ground was starting to shake beneath my feet. I wanted to scream, I wanted time to stop, I wanted Freddie to be alive and everything to be normal again, for things to be the way they used to be.

But I knew there was a good possibility that none of those things could happen.

I suddenly felt the icy temperature around my hands vanish, and I knew Freddie had gone.

The ground really began to shake wildly then, the sound becoming a constant ringing in my ear, the blue light appearing behind my eyelids. I raised my hands and tried to shield my face, tried to protect myself from what was coming.

Just before I disappeared from the present and was shot back into the past, I heard a voice. I wasn't sure where it came from, but I knew that it was Freddie's voice, like I knew birds could fly if they flapped their wings.

"_I love you, too, Sam._"


	6. iTry to Save Freddie, Part 1

**A/N: I know you're probably thinking, Wow, quick update. Well, since I have basically the rest of the plot figured out now, I thought I'd type part of it up for you guys. I hope everyone enjoys reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! :) Please R&R!**

**A **_**big**_** thanks to iCarlyfan312 for assisting me in coming up with all the great ideas for this story. I owe you!**

**Disclaimer: Sadly, iCarly does not belong to me.**

**Chapter 6: iTry to Save Freddie, Part 1**

There were a few seconds in which I felt solid ground beneath me. And then, suddenly, there no longer was.

I could feel time passing, feel myself almost floating back through space and time, but at a mind-blowing speed. Was it possible to travel this fast?

Everything stopped as soon as it had started, and I felt the ground abruptly return. I lost my balance and fell backward, though I kept my eyes closed for another couple of seconds and tried to slow my breathing.

When I finally did open my eyes, I saw nothing at first except white light above me. After my eyes began to adjust, I realized it was just the florescent lights in the hall outside the iCarly studio.

So I was back in Carly's apartment. If everything had gone right, I should be at the point in time where the show was just ending. I leapt to my feet but quickly grabbed the wall for support; traveling back in time had made me dizzy and slightly disoriented. I stumbled a little and backed into something.

"Who's up for a smoothie? Momma's in the mood for one" I heard myself say in the other room.

Crap. I didn't have long to make a move.

I turned around slowly and saw a box full of random things. The outside was labeled, "iCarly props". With a rush, I remembered: We'd used them for skits.

I grabbed a rope from the box, pressed myself back against the wall, and waited.

"Let's go."

I gripped the rope tighter until my hands began to hurt.

"Okay."

The door opened and out stepped Carly. Freddie was next. And then finally . . . me.

I quickly tied the rope around my past self's hands and threw her back into the studio. I jumped up and grabbed the key from the top of the door, stuck it in the lock, and twisted it. I smiled and waved at myself through the glass.

I looked pretty shocked.

Pocketing the key, I ran down the stairs. Carly and Freddie were at the bottom, waiting for an answer from Spencer, who was watching Girly Cow. Remembering what had happened, I said, "Come on, you can text him later."

Carly nodded, and I followed her out the front door, slightly surprised, Freddie right behind me.

I had relied on Carly and Freddie being able to see my future self. I was very glad they could because that made everything a whole lot easier for me and what I was about to do.

As we began walking towards the Groovy Smoothie, I tried to do what I did best: Make fun of Freddie.

"Hey, Fredweird, know why no girl will ever want you?"

Freddie rolled his eyes at me and asked, "Why?" He probably did this only to humor me, but I didn't care. Saving him was the most important thing I'd ever had to do before in my life, and I was determined to make sure he had a spot somewhere in the future.

"'Cause you have ears like an elephant. They flop around a lot, you know. I can't blame Carly for not loving you back." I added a laugh.

He stopped walking and turned on me, as I had expected him to. "You know what, Sam? Why don't you just admit it, right here, right now?"

"Admit what, Freddie?" I shouted back, egging him on.

"That you are insanely in love with me! That you're jealous of Carly because I love her and not you!"

Whatever I had been expecting, it hadn't been for him to say that.

I scrambled to find something to say in reply. "What are you talking about? I've never loved you, and I never will! Same goes for Carly! How many times do I have to tell you that?" I was surprised at how I angry I could make my voice sound. At least it made everything all the more convincing.

"Oh, really?" Freddie said, his face now only inches from mine. "Then why -?"

He was cut off by Carly. "Guys, come on. Don't fight now. Let's just go get a smoothie and relax."

Freddie glared at me and said, "Whatever, I'm outta here." Then he turned and started jogging lightly towards the corner.

"Freddie, no, wait!" I shouted. "I'm sorry!"

His pace slowed to a walk, but he just waved a hand absently over his head to show he'd heard me.

"Shouldn't you be texting Spencer?" I asked Carly angrily before I broke out into a full run after Freddie.

I was only a few paces behind him when I heard a car accelerate and start swerving around on the road.

"Freddie, stop!"

"Sam, why don't you just go home?"

The tone of his voice scared me. Even if I somehow managed to save him now, how long would he be mad at me for picking a stupid fight with him? I mean, it wasn't like I tell him afterwards that I had done it on purpose to prevent him from being flattened by a hot rod maniac.

"Freddie, please listen to me!"

He laughed once, coldly. "Yeah, sure, maybe when pigs fly."

Freddie stepped out into the street, and my whole world came crashing down around me for a second time.

I looked away again, and I heard myself scream agonizingly before I fell to the ground. The car sped off, and only after it had done so did I realize I should have looked to see who had been driving it. I pushed myself to my feet, anger surging through me. I'd failed.

"Sam, come on. I just called Spencer. He's on his way," Carly told me, now at my side.

I shook my head, tears starting to blur my vision. "No, I've got to go. I'm sorry."

And I took off, running away from the scene. I ran back six blocks before I could stop and figure out what I was going to do now.

The watch on my wrist was starting to glow. Panicking, I looked around to see if anyone was looking at me. No one seemed to be.

I ducked into a small alleyway and looked down at the silver watch. When the light had dimmed, I saw that all of the red numbers had turned back to an ordinary black, though the blue numbers still remained. Weird.

Then I saw the ring. It was also giving off a strange glow. Wishing for another chance to save Freddie, I touched it and closed my eyes.

It seemed like it took longer this time to travel back. I kept my eyes closed the whole time until I felt the familiar wood floor beneath my feet. I was back outside the iCarly studio and glad to find that I felt fine.

But this time, I wasn't alone.

I glanced over to see myself, looking slightly off. The other me looked off-balance, a bit disoriented. . . .

I gasped when I realized that this must be me from before, when I had first traveled back in time.


	7. iTry to Save Freddie, Part 2

**A/N: Here we go, Chapter 7! I hope this isn't too confusing. :) You'll see what I mean once you start reading. Please R&R!**

**Disclaimer: I really wish I owned iCarly, but I don't. **

**Chapter 7: iTry to Save Freddie, Part 2**

So what, now there were _three_ of me? How the heck was I supposed to ditch the other two and get myself where I needed to be?

I had to think fast because the iCarly show was ending, and my other self beside me had found the rope in the box of props.

My hand shot out and caught my other self's wrist. She looked up in shock at me.

"I don't think so," I said. "That's _mine_."

I grabbed the rope, put a hand over her mouth, and pinned her up against the wall in the same smooth motion. I was suddenly smiling, glad I knew how to handle people, or in this particular case . . . handle myself.

But even though I was often more aggressive than not, that didn't prevent my other self from putting up a fight. She struggled a lot and tried to scream. I shoved her face against the wall, hoping Carly, Freddie, and my third self would walk through the iCarly studio door soon; I was sure I wouldn't be able to keep my second self in the same uncomfortable position for long.

Then I heard the door open beside us. I was so relieved that I almost forgot to use the rope. Knowing it would be tricky, I kept my arm around my second self while I reached out and pulled on the blonde hair of my third self. She opened her mouth in a silent scream, though she never had time to let it escape her throat. I quickly tied them up, pushed them into the studio, grabbed the key, and locked it just as I had before. I smiled and waved at them both before pocketing the key. This time, they both wore the same angered expression on their faces.

I snapped back into focus, knowing Carly and Freddie would come looking for "me" if I didn't get down the stairs quick enough and make my presence known. Grabbing a pair of handcuffs from the box, I dashed down the stairs.

"What were you doing?" Carly asked me when I showed up.

I shrugged. "I thought I saw a piece of bacon by the door."

Carly laughed once and then said, "I tried asking Spencer if we could go to the Groovy Smoothie, but, well. . . ." She pointed helplessly to the TV screen. To no surprise, Carly's brother was watching Girly Cow, laughing his head off.

I grabbed Carly's arm and began pulling her towards the door. "Come on, you can text him on the way there."

Once again, we were heading to the Groovy Smoothie. I was so familiar with this route now that I was sure I could tell anyone who asked where all the cracks in the sidewalk were.

But I still had to save Freddie. I pulled the handcuffs out of my pocket, snapped one silver ring on my own wrist and then one on Freddie's, who was walking right beside me.

He glanced down at once, aghast. "Aw, Sam! What did I do now?"

I smiled evilly up at him. "Remember when you stole my bag of Canadian bacon last week? Well, it's payback time, and _this_ is Momma's revenge."

Carly looked incredulously at me. "Really, Sam? Handcuffs?"

"Oh, he'll get over it," I insisted. It was hard not to feel like I could fly. How could Freddie get hit now, when he was tied to me?

"Where did you get those, anyway?" Carly asked, pointing to the handcuffs.

I didn't realize at that moment her comment could cause a problem. I smiled wider and replied with, "Oh, you know, they were just lying around." I waved a hand absently in the air, indifferent. I'd done what I needed to.

"Wait," Freddie said slowly, "I've seen these before. We used them for an iCarly skit! Which means . . . they're not real!"

When things like this happened, it made me understand why you really shouldn't say things like, "What could go wrong?" when everything in the world could. I knew I shouldn't have even _thought_ it would be fine.

I decided it was best to lie. "What do you mean? I stole these from a cop. A _real_ cop. You know, one with a gun and a badge and everything."

But neither of them were listening to me anymore. Freddie was already free of the handcuffs, starting to sprint ahead, but I was ready. I took off after him, this time easily matching his pace. I managed to stay beside him all the way to the corner.

At some point, he pulled slightly ahead of me. I panicked and sped up. We both stepped out into the street at exactly the same time, and the screeching told me the hot rod was already starting to close in on the two of us. Knowing there wasn't enough time to do anything else, I stepped out in front of Freddie and pushed him back towards the sidewalk with all the strength and feeling I possessed. The hot rod was going to hit me now, that was the inevitable part. I closed my eyes and waited for death to claim me.

But it never did.

Confused by the absence of the pain I should have been feeling, I slowly opened my eyes. The cars around me were continuing onward like nothing had happened, though what _had_ happened, I was still unsure.

I looked to the sidewalk to see Freddie and Carly staring at me with a mixture of horror and amazement. I glanced behind me and saw the hot rod zooming off down the street. I heard it screech around the next corner.

Triumph flooded through me. I had done it, I had finally been able to save Freddie. It didn't matter that a car had just sped through me as if I were invisible. I had done exactly what I had meant to do, and now Freddie was safe.

"Sam -"

Carly was trying to say something but her voice broke off. She lifted a shaking finger and pointed to the ground at my feet.

I looked down and gasped: My entire being seemed to be dissolving. My feet were beginning to disappear slowly, and I could no longer feel any connection to them or control over them. My legs were already vanishing in quick flashes of white light.

I saw that Carly and Freddie's expressions hadn't changed in the slightest.

"I'm sorry, I wish I could explain," I said hurriedly. "Freddie, try not to get killed again, okay?"

Though my tone was almost kidding, there was a serious undercurrent to it that I hoped he'd pick up before I completely disappeared. The last thing I saw before I was (hopefully) being transported back to the future, was the sad and confused faces of the best two friends anyone could ever have.


	8. Sacrifices

**A/N: Here we are at Chapter 8! :) I'm pretty sure this will be the last chapter, so please R&R!**

**Disclaimer: Do I own iCarly? No, I don't. So sad. . . .**

**Chapter 8: Sacrifices**

I'm not exactly sure what happened after that. All I remember was opening my eyes to find myself very much alone back in the iCarly studio.

But was I back in the right spot in time? Was I really in the future?

Glancing down at my wrist, I saw that the silver watch was still there, though it had undergone an odd change: The face had been completely smashed in, making the numbers and hands unreadable.

What did _that_ mean?

I suddenly didn't want to think about anything but bolting out of the room . . . and so that's what I did.

I ran down the stairs, almost tripping over my feet in my haste to reach the bottom floor.

"Carly? Freddie? Spencer?" I called as I reached the last step, looking frantically around the room.

In less than a second, I was being embraced by Carly, who was apparently trying to hug me to death. I didn't notice she started crying because I saw the very person I had risked my life for standing just out of reach: Freddie Benson.

I could only stare, slightly open-mouthed, at him. He was staring back at me, some sort of immense relief washing over him, while Spencer came over and joined Carly in the Hugging Sam fest.

What was going on?

Carly and Spencer pulled back. Carly sniffled, then looked directly at me, and asked, "Where have you _been_? We thought you were _dead_!"

Dead? What an obvious sign that things weren't quite back to normal.

"I - What?"

"You've been missing for the last three days!" Carly informed me. "You disappeared, and no one could find you _anywhere_! Spencer even called the police and went down to the station to file a missing person report after the first twenty four hours because I hadn't seen you here since the day before!" Everything she said was like an accusation, like she believed I had purposely vanished from her sight.

"I'm sorry" was all I could manage. I knew it was a lame thing to say, but I couldn't tell her where I'd really been.

"Where were you?" Carly asked.

"Just . . . out."

"Out?"

"It doesn't matter where I've been, you wouldn't believe me if I told you, anyway," I said impatiently. "What did you guys tell my mom?"

"I called her and told her you were spending a few days over here," Spencer replied.

"And Principle Franklin?"

"Freddie and I told him you were really sick," Carly said.

I shrugged. "I'll just fake a doctor's note then. That should cover my absences."

Carly flashed a small smile at me.

There were a few moments of silence before Spencer spoke up. "I'm gonna head down the police station and sort everything out," he said, now heading for the door. He pointed a finger at me. "Stay put. I'll be back soon, okay?" And then he was gone.

Carly hugged me again almost immediately. Over her shoulder, I saw Freddie staring at the floor, his hands shoved deep into his jean pockets. He seemed to be in deep concentration, studying the floorboards.

"Come on," Carly said. "Let's go up to the studio and do a great iCarly webcast. We still have those idea cards," she added. She rushed up the stairs, leaving Freddie and me behind.

I tried several times to say something to him, but nothing came out.

"You know, Carly was really worried about you," he finally said without looking up.

I swallowed and cleared my throat, trying to force my voice to work. It ended up coming out kind of raspy. "And were you?"

He shrugged; he was now looking at his feet, refusing to meet my gaze. "You could say that, I guess. At least, Carly told me I acted. . . ." Freddie trailed off. A few seconds passed, and then he looked up at me. I could see a slight smile on his face now. "It's nice to know you're okay, Sam."

"Thanks," I said.

I knew a new iCarly webcast would take all our minds off of what had happened, even if the events were a little different for me. It was Carly's way of starting to get things back to normal. And at the moment, normal was all I wanted.

"So, I guess we'd better get on with the webcast."

"Yeah," Freddie said. "Let's go."

* * *

The webcast helped improve things for the remaining week of school. I took my faked doctor note to Principle Franklin, who hardly glanced at it, saying he was glad I was back. True, I hadn't taken many sick days from school at one time, but I was surprised by his happiness. What could make him smile like that? I shrugged it off, telling myself that it was insane to think he'd actually _missed_ my troublemaking.

Carly was much more relaxed and comfortable to see my locker was being used, that I was actually there by her every time she was at her own.

Freddie was avoiding me as much as possible, which wouldn't have bothered me before I'd gone back in time, but since I had, I started getting more and more curious. He'd barely said anything to me.

I kept the broken watch on in hopes that he would catch sight of it. Would he remember?

The last day of school came and went, which meant a relaxing summer was on its way.

That weekend, I drifted into Freddie's apartment, knowing Mrs. Benson was out, and also knowing Freddie wasn't. I made my way out onto the fire escape, trying to collect my thoughts before I went and talked to him. What if he didn't remember?

"Sam?"

I looked over my shoulder to see Freddie behind me. "Oh, hey."

He took a hesitant step forward. I took notice of his narrowed eyes and had the urge to laugh. "What are you doing here, exactly?" he asked slowly.

"I just wanted to talk," I replied.

"To _me_?" he asked incredulously.

I nodded.

"What for?"

I sighed. "Do you know the real reason I was gone for three days?"

I hadn't meant to blurt it out that way, but it was too late to take the words back.

A small crease appeared between his eyebrows. "No, you didn't tell anyone. You just took off."

Did that mean he didn't remember?

Freddie pointed to the silver watch. "Why do you wear that thing if it's broken?"

I smiled at that. "You would freak if I told you."

He nodded, taking my word for it. I supposed if he'd done and seen enough freaking out to last him a lifetime.

"Why have you been avoiding me?" I demanded.

"You'd freak if I told you," he said.

I laughed once. "All right, try me."

He took a deep breath and put a hand behind his head, trying too hard to seem casual. "You know, I was . . . worried when I found out you were missing." Freddie lowered his arm and then hurried on in a rush, looking at something in the distance: "I mean, Carly was worried, which made me worry -"

"Yeah, sure," I said, folding my arms. "Okay."

"So what's your excuse for disappearing?" he asked abruptly.

"Whoa, slow down." I held up both my hands. "One question at a time, Benson."

"Fine," he said. "I guess I can take a little more freaking out. What's with the watch?"

"Oh, this." I held up my wrist to show him the broken wrist watch. "Well, honestly, I was only wearing it because I wanted you to notice it."

He became even more confused. "Why, did you want me to fix it or something?"

I shook my head, staring down at my wrist. "No, I don't want you to fix it." I touched the band, where the hour glasses were engraved.

Struck by a sudden idea, I unfastened it. "Here," I said, holding it out to him. "Maybe you'll understand when you look at it closer." I was really hoping he'd remember something, anything. . . .

He took the watch from me and examined it for a moment. And then -

It was like watching it all in fast forward as I looked deep into his eyes. It was as if his contact with the watch had revealed the forgotten memories of my traveling back in time to save his life.

The flashes left his eyes, and he let out a great rush of breath.

"Whoa," he said. After another moment, he continued, "So they weren't just dreams."

My eyebrows rose in slight surprise. "You've been having dreams?"

"Every night since you left," he replied. His eyes were hazed over, like he was trying very hard to remember. "It was like a story, they continued, one after the other. . . ." Freddie finally glanced at me. "It wasn't all in my head, was it?"

The left corner of my mouth rose. "Unfortunately, no."

I gave him some time to let that sink in.

"So I believe you owe me a month's worth of whatever I want." I paused. "And there's no _way_ you're getting out of this -"

I froze and stopped talking. Freddie had dropped the watch in what appeared to be shock.

"Freddie?" He had that faraway look on his face again.

Then he glanced at me, and sudden realization was in his eyes. He leaned forward -

And then I was flying.

I smiled against his lips, overwhelmed with joy. It wouldn't matter that no one else besides us knew what had really happened.

One thing he'd said came floating back into my mind at that moment, that the watch had been the key to saving his life. It looked like the watch had also been a key for me, a key to my happiness.

"_I love you, too, Sam_."

It seemed that my sacrifices hadn't all been for nothing.


End file.
